maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize