You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
