What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
