Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
