I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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