Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
