Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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