i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
