i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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