THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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