if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
