It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
