Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
