Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize