I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
