some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
