From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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