is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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