dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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