Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
