I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
either way he was missing a nipple.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
