nutella sex= disaster
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Pooping to opera.
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