apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
