the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
