I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize