If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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