whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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