I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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