and she was petting her beer can
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
