Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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