We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
