I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
