I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
