I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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