So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
