so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
