Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
that may or may not have been my penis.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
