Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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