Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
