Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
