We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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