Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize