Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
