Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
