really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
