Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize