haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
