Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize