Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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