alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize