that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I got inside last night via doggy door
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
