return my video game
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
