Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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