Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
