My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
