You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
