Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
