can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
