I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
