Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
