His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
