i would punch a child for taco bell
im about as happy as oj after his trial
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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