How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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