Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
its not stalking. its research.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize