just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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