At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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