i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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