dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
