yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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