I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
